So last time in my blog I chatted a bit about bulimia and societies preoccupation with food. I got an overwhelming response to that particular subject. I promised I’d teach you the secrets I have learned of how to eat like a natural slim person and to help you get rid of all your food demons and I will certainly do my best. So I have a little experiment for you…..

Our bodies are amazingly clever machines. They tell us when we are tired, when we are in pain, when we are injured. It’s a miracle really when you think about it. Well your body also tells you when you are hungry and when you are full.

When you go on a diet or listen to advice like, you must eat five a day, you must have breakfast, don’t eat after 8pm etc etc, you over ride what your body is telling you about food and you let your head take over and that’s a recipe (forgive the pun) for disaster.

The trouble is most of us don’t know what real hunger feels like or how to gage it. Most of us fear hunger and that’s probably because of diets.

So, my first exercise for you is this;

Wake up in the morning and don’t eat til you’re hungry. Now I warn you. You may not get hungry until really late in the day.

Once you feel real hunger, not throat hunger but tummy hunger, eat some food. Eat whatever you want, anything, ask your body what it needs and eat it. Eat it really slowly and enjoy every single mouthful. Don’t feel guilty as it’s what your body needs and make sure you actually taste it and most importantly, enjoy it!

As soon as you feel full and do bare in mind your stomach is only the size of your fist…. Stop eating. Don’t panic you are not on a diet you can eat again as soon as you are hungry! Please don’t fall in to the trap where you feel you should eat everything on your plate. Also, because you will get full quite quickly eat your favourite things first. Don’t worry you won’t be hungry all the time!

You can eat again as soon as you are hungry again, which might be an hour later or the next day… But make sure you let yourself get hungry, you’ll be amazed how clever your body is if you listen to it. You are not restricting yourself. You are simply loving yourself and listening to your natural hunger gage.

Anyway that’s the first exercise, there will be more. Please let me know how you get on…. I’m interested to hear from you all and whether and what you experienced feeling really hungry and how that felt.

Right back to The Punk of Prozac…..

So, I’ve been ok and I’ve been Prozac free for a while now! There have definitely been moments of feeling like The Nothing (a bit like The Nothing from Never Ending Story) is raining down on me again, but it’s just that, nothing. When I look at it like that I don’t fear it anymore. I’ll get a moment of, panic and claustrophobia of being with myself and thats when I get weak and The Nothing moves in on me like a fog, whispering all my problems and insecurities at me. But then I think, hang on, you’re The Nothing you only exist if I let you and I’m not letting you cloud my life anymore….. and just like that it’s gone. I could never have figured that out whilst still on Prozac though and that’s a shame because I could have got to this point along time ago were I not encased in medication.

Physical withdrawl symptoms are not so good. My tummy hurts every time I eat and I can’t sleep til way past 4am every night because of restless leg syndrome. Nothing lasts forever though so I’m just gonna push through it. Makes me wonder what Prozac has done to my body all these years though.

I’m protecting myself more than ever before and sticking up for myself too. I’m realising, I’m all I’ve got so I had better start liking myself, no point wasting anymore time wishing I was someone else. Someone prettier, cleverer, taller and forever young. Time to be the best I can be and the best way to do that……convince myself that I am enough.

Obviously as a victim (hate that word – so powerless) of domestic violence there are still many issues lurking in there and I guess I’ll talk about domestic abuse soon in my blog. I know from working with my therapist, that even years later, I still show signs and symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder and I’m not truly sure they will ever go away. Domestic abuse is one of my ugliest skeletons and not one I’m looking forward to facing really.

I did Freedom Project video for Dogs Trust a few years ago and I didn’t realise how much it would upset me to relive even a small section of that time in my life. I’m not truly brave enough to share all of that time with you yet, but I’m getting there and I think it’s important to talk about so it will be coming your way soon.

I leave you with a part of the poem ‘The Dance’ by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Someone inspirational reminded me of it the other day and I thought, yes this is want we all need and where we can all go together.

“Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.”

Thanks for reading again – look forward to hearing from you. Xxx